{"id":2061,"date":"2015-12-31T12:00:19","date_gmt":"2015-12-31T17:00:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/eccafv.org\/?p=2061"},"modified":"2016-05-16T21:21:12","modified_gmt":"2016-05-17T01:21:12","slug":"speaking-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eccafv.org\/speaking-out\/","title":{"rendered":"Speaking Out"},"content":{"rendered":"

Four steps to becoming an advocate for domestic violence survivors<\/em><\/p>\n

You\u2019ve survived a waking nightmare. And now that you\u2019ve emerged a free person, you have a desire to help others who may be still living nightmares. Perhaps you want to simply raise awareness about domestic violence, or maybe you want to advocate for stricter laws or better programs to help survivors still struggling to escape abuse. Whatever your mission, your voice and story can be a powerful tool. Linda Ruescher, a survivor ofchildhood domestic violence<\/a> and author of No Nonsense Support Group Guide<\/em>, suggests the following steps to start off your journey to speaking out\u00a0publicly:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 Start journaling. <\/strong>Jot down your thoughts, feelings and experiences. You don\u2019t need to write out your entire story. Just start writing whatever comes to mind. It will help you get in touch with your emotions.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhile abuse is going on, you suppress your emotions\u2014that\u2019s the only way to get through the trauma,\u201d Ruescher explains. But you\u2019ll need to get in touch with your emotions in order to share your story.<\/p>\n

\u201cJournaling is an excellent way to get in touch with one’s story,\u201d she says. \u201cThe act of writing something down moves thoughts and feelings out of the intangible realm of the mind and makes them concrete. When thoughts and emotions are concrete, we can examine them.\u201d<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 Create distance.<\/strong> Once you have everything out, leave it be. Do other things. Focus on yourself. Then revisit your journal once you\u2019ve had some time to heal. \u201cUntil you get in touch with the emotions that go along with your story, you really can\u2019t speak about it, because it\u2019s still so raw in your head,\u201d Ruescher says.<\/p>\n

Once you think you\u2019re ready, try telling just one person your story. Then another. Then another. \u201cWhen you get to the point where you can talk about it without further traumatizing yourself, that\u2019s when you\u2019re ready,\u201d Ruescher says.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 Hone your public speaking skills.<\/strong> Whether you plan to advocate in small group settings or large auditoriums, you\u2019ll want to get comfortable speaking in front of a crowd. Ruescher suggests joining a local Toastmasters<\/a> club to learn public speaking skills.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe process is constructive and everyone there is learning,\u201d she says. \u201cAfter each speech, you get all these little love notes with what you did well and what you can do better next time. You pick up skills with each speech and, by the tenth one, you\u2019re just rocking it.\u201d<\/p>\n

The best part is that you can speak about anything you want. \u201cYou don\u2019t have to share your story in Toastmasters; you could do a speech on how to fold socks,\u201d she says. \u201cThe important thing is learning how<\/em> to construct a speech and speak in front of people.\u201d<\/p>\n

4. Become educated on DV.<\/strong> Domestic violence is a complicated issue. Knowing your own story is the first step\u2014in order to speak knowledgably and in depth on the topic overall, signing up for a Domestic Violence 101 class with a local nonprofit agency can help you more adequately share pertinent information about this epidemic. Find a nonprofit near you at DomesticShelters.org.<\/p>\n

Read Others\u2019 Stories<\/strong><\/p>\n

Every survivor\u2019s story is different and the more we bring them out into the open, the more likely we are to end domestic violence. Check out Survivor Story: Kit Gruelle<\/a> and Survivor Story: Lorel Stevens<\/a> to read about two women who escaped their abusers and then went on to advocate for other women.<\/p>\n

\n
\n

SURVEY<\/h4>\n
\n

Have you shared your story of domestic abuse publically before?<\/h2>\n
    \n
  • Yes, I do speak often because it is healing and helps others.<\/li>\n
  • Once or twice. I mostly keep it to myself and press on.<\/li>\n
  • No, I haven\u2019t spoken about it publically yet, but I want to.<\/li>\n
  • No, I don\u2019t plan on speaking out about it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n